i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
