don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
