Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
