he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
