well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
