We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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