Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
