I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
