She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
