so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
