Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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