And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize