I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
