nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
