And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
