I don't think brook has ever known best
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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