Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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