I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
