Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
