I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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