I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
