im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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