If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
