i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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