Define "chronic" masturbator.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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