The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
