just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
