Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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