I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
