The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
