guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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