I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize