Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
