Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
