i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We got so high we made milksteak
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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