I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
