I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
