you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
