My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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