just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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