My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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