I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
