i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
