Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...

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(909): View more from California

it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines

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(586): View more from Michigan

it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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(301): View more from Maryland

Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job

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(203): View more from Connecticut

chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life

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(210): View more from Texas

I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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(330): View more from Ohio

It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.

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(415): View more from California

"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"

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