I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
