we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
