There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize