Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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