Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
