no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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