oh god the rape fog is back!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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