how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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