I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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