I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
