How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
