she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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