idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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