Your mouth is God's brothel.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
