Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
